Q: What part of Popeye never rusts?
A: The part he puts in Olive Oyl.
Q: What do Linda Lovelace and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?
A: The both eat semen.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with braces?
A: A pecker wrecker.
Q: How can you tell when a lady has an orgasm?
A: She drops her nail file.
Q: What's the difference between a lady and jello?
A: Jello moves when you eat it.
Q: Why do female paratroopers wear jockstraps?
A: So they don't whistle on the way down.
Q: How can you tell a macho woman?
A: She rolls her own tampons.
Susan was standing on a street corner when a man stopped and said, "Excuse me, but did you know that you have a tampon hanging out of your mouth?" "Oh my God" she said, "What did I do with my cigarette?"
Q: How can you tell if a lady is wearing panty hose?
A: Her ankles swell when she farts.
Q: What do you get by crossing a prostitute and an elephant?
A: A hooker who does it for peanuts and doesn't forget you.
Q: Have you heard about the new line of designer jeans called Crisco?
A: They're made for women with fat in the can.
Q: How do you know the female bartender is pissed off at you?
A: There's a rope hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
Q: What's a real friend? A: Someone who will go downtown, get two blow jobs, come back and give you one.
Q: Why do women have legs?
A: So they don't leave snail tracks on linoleum floors.
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together?
A: In case you miss.
Q: What does eating pussy and being a member of the Mafia have in
common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're fucked.
Q: What's the modern women's idea of a perfect man?
A: One who's two-and-a-half feet tall, has a ten inch tongue, and can
breathe through his ears.
Q: How does a women hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.
Q: What do butter and a hooker have in common?
A: They both spread for bread.
Q: What's the difference between "ohh" and "ahh"?
A: About four inches.
Q: When does a cub scout become a boy scout?
A: When he eats his first brownie.
Q: What do women and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both squirm when you eat them.
Q: What's a 72?
A: 69 with three people watching.
Q: What do you call a female clone?
A: A clunt.
Q: What do you call a happy Roman?
A: Glad he ate her.
A really conceited man is screwing a really conceited woman.
"Aren't I tight?" she said. "No" he replies, "just full."
Q: What's a 69 and 69?
A: Dinner for four.
Q: What's the difference between your sister and a cadillac?
A: Most people haven't been in a cadillac.
Q: What do you call a woman who can eat an orange through a garden
hose?
A: Darling.
Q: What did the country lady say to her unmarried, pregnant daughter?
A: Don't worry, maybe it's not yours.
There's a party in your mouth and everyone's invited!