- When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
- Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
- If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
- How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
- What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
- After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
- If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
- What's another word for synonym?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
- When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor and planes don't have a row 13, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
- How can there be self-help groups?
- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
- Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
- Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?
- Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
- Where are Preparations A through G?
- Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
- If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
- When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
- When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
- What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
- If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
- Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
- If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
- Hermits have no peer pressure.
- Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...
- There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot..
- How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?
- What a nice night for an evening.
- When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "The middle of August? Cool!"
- Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?
- I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
- I live on a one-way dead-end street.
- It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
- Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
- I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, "No thanks-I'm not going that far."
- I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lives next door complained.
- Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
- When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.